“Chaos was the law of nature; Order was the dream of man.” –Henry B. Adams Not long after the quieting gauze which the lacunae had thrown over my life had settled, like a scarf placed over a canary’s cage to soothe it’s song into slumber and filling my hours with a strange, paradoxically comforting and agitating hush, the ship righted itself and the terrible beautiful chaos of life came rushing back.
Vacation is over. Classes start in the morning, I’m jobless and my roller coaster career-life-balance aspirations are running wild, keeping me up at night. Patience has never been my virtue. Sitting still, an eternal challenge. My parents, bless them, can attest to the failure that is my attempt to focus on the present. I know once I crack the books tomorrow, things will feel like they are moving again, albeit slowly. But for now in the midst of this innerRead More
I’m preparing to hand over my job to someone else this week, and then I’ll officially move on to new things. Tonight, I’m combing through old emails for helpful clues to give the incoming fellow about reporting deadlines and donor profiles, and buried five pages back in the gmail archives I discovered a slightly bewildered and bemused note that I wrote home some time during my first month in Kabul: “I’m sitting at a French restaurant called Le Bistro waitingRead More